The impact of traumatic events
Because distressing events can generate strong emotions the brain may struggle to process them properly and they get stuck. The most disturbing and highly emotional parts of the memory get separated from the other more positive parts. The part that tells us we are safe and it’s all over. This means that when we are reminded of the event, only the bad parts and distressing feelings are recalled. This can make it feel like it’s happening all over again. This is called a flashback and it can be really frightening.
Reminders can be things like
- People
- Places
- Events
- Relationships
- Situations
- Places
- Object
or things you can
- See
- Hear
- Feel
- Smell
- Taste
Anything present at the distressing event that we perceive later in our daily life can trigger a flashback. It can feel like we are in a tug of war between trying to forget the past but constantly being reminded of it in the present.
Over time, we may start to become afraid of reminders in case it triggers a flashback and we become hyper-vigilant or avoidant of them to prevent feeling anxious. The downside of this is that we stop fully living as a result. We feel safe but living life with the handbrake on.
We might find other ways of coping with the distress by numbing ourselves through drink or drugs or other reckless behaviours. Unintentionally this can lead to other problems such difficulties in our relationships or at work, suspension of our hobbies or withdrawing from our social life. All of which reduce the amount of joy and satisfaction we experience which can lead to depression and anxiety.
How EMDR can help
EMDR can help reconnect the two parts of a memory so that reminders no longer traumatise us. It helps to process the distressing experience by linking it back up with the positive stuff. Like the fact that you survived or you learnt something that has helped you since. The memory is resolved when these two parts are reconnected. It gets filed away correctly with all the other memories.
After having EMDR many people say things like ‘Yes it was a horrible thing that happened but it’s over now and I’m ok about it’. This is the sign of a processed memory.
Processed Memory
| Insufficiently processed memories | Consequences | Sufficiently processed memories | Consequences |
|---|---|---|---|
| Only negative stuff is remembered | Negative beliefs about the self, others or the future don’t link up with positive information about these things | Positive information is also remembered | Balanced thoughts about the self, others and the future are also reached |
| Reminders (normally neutral or meaningless to others) cause distress | An urge to avoid reminders occurs or other unhelpful ways of coping appear | Reminders don’t generate intense emotions or physical reactions | Mood is improved, no need to avoid anything |
| Activation of the memory causes distress | Can lead to other unhelpful ways of coping like numbing via alcohol, drugs, reckless or dangerous behaviours | Able to tolerate reminders | Improved confidence, joy and a sense of resilience |
| Memory or emotional avoidance | Reduces distress in the short term but new learning or remembering positive information is never achieved | Memory confrontation | Balanced thinking about the event, ourselves, others and the future can be learned |
| Avoidance of reminders | Reduces distress in the short term but in the long-term leads to a life not lived, potential not realised, and a loss of self-esteem and joy | Exposure to reminders | Develops confidence, self-esteem, a sense of achievement, accomplishment and effectiveness |
| Negative beliefs | I am bad I am not safe It’s all my fault I can’t do anything |
Balanced beliefs | I am usually good I am generally safe I learned something from this I have power now |
How Can I Help
If you're ready to explore EMDR or have questions about whether it's the right fit for you, I offer a confidential, supportive space to help you decide. You don’t have to carry the weight of the past alone.
Leaving you free to enjoy life more fully.
